At some point I’ll get round to writing myself a grandiose puff-piece in the third person. It will list all my achievements from learning to ride a bike to having some stamps in my passport. Until then, enjoy the lyrical qualities of Gilbert and Sullivan:
I am the very model of a modern Major-General,
I’ve information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;
I’m very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem I’m teeming with a lot o’ news,
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
_